Saturday, July 17, 2010

Wrong choices can be fun

Yes, of course Nadia Torrado made a whole lot of wrong choices and they ended up tragically for her and all those who loved her. So did the distraught lady who jumped out of a window of GMC when her doctors bluntly told her she was HIV+. Both Nadia and the HIV+ patient could have been alive and relatively happy today if they had some good commonsense counseling.

Counseling allows you to make the best of a bad choice. But here I wish to place before you, and I’m walking on eggs here mind you, that wrong choices need not be the bottomless pit of doom everyone is so afraid of. Wrong choices can be fun while they last, and when the fun goes, shrug it off, try and fix things, if they cannot be fixed shrug again and move on. No point in beating yourself up over it. No need to reach for the Ratol. Memory is short, even for those who have been hurt by your wrong choices. More than modern medicine, we can rely on Time to heal all things. And Time is the ultimate arbiter. Once your time runs out, like the Metallica song with the beautiful guitar riffs says: Nothing else matters…

Wrong choices lend colour to your life. They build memories, and once you cross 50, you realize memories are like a protective armour of laughter around you. So it didn’t work out. So what! That practical joke you played on a good friend and got them so mad at you. Falling in love with an unsuitable boy or girl, or man or woman... Taking a job and realizing you were totally unfit for it. Eating like there was no tomorrow, drinking like there was no tomorrow, partying like there was no tomorrow and then clutching your chest and gasping for breath in the emergency room as your life flashes before your eyes.

Bad choices… but they were so much fun when you made them. They seemed so right at the time and you have all those fabulous memories. Not reading an invitation properly, dressing your child up in fancy dress and then finding out he is the only one in costume. He would never forgive you as long as he lived. But he did, right? And you could both laugh over it years later.

Speaking from personal experience, I have made wrong choices all my life. Studying the problem for all of five minutes, I figured out the reason why. I invariably come to wrong conclusions about a given situation or relationship. I form wrong premises and based on wrong premises I make the wrong choices. But my general experience has been that they worked out just fine. Not perfect mind you, but just fine. And that’s excellent in my book.

You make wrong choices all your life. Sometimes, they turn out all right and you say things like, by the Grace of God, or what luck, or you dust your hands and say, well, we came through that mess all right. The trick is to go with the flow and when you come to the rocks, try to minimize the damage, sit on the rock and dry yourself.

So what happens when the wrong choices turn into a nightmare of unbelievable proportions? Then too you have a battery of choices, all you have to do is not panic. Calm yourself, study the situation, weigh the options and then make your choice. There is no problem which does not have a solution. So we make another wrong choice, which will also have solutions. Life is this big fat puzzle that we have to work through. We have a choice. We can choose to enjoy it, or we can choose misery. We can choose life or we can choose death. Me? Give me life any day.

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